Worth
Ever received a compliment and not know how to receive it? Maybe because it didn’t fit our self-perception of ourselves. It may feel like a garment that doesn’t seem to fit. Or the self-esteem to not tolerate any criticism or blame. Whenever anything went wrong, there was a quickness to deflect responsibility to others in ways that were not always constrained by logic or reason. The foundation of worth we can intensely hunger to look for only comes from knowing how much we are truly unconditionally loved and by grace we are covered to be free. We can find ways to boost our self-worth and feelings of acceptance by trying to control people or situations by acquiring things the world valued. When we sense a loss of control over a particular person or situation, it can make us feel less worthy, loved, accepted, and we can tend to ramp up the controlling behaviors that can escalate to a very real risk that we would lose the very thing we want the most: freedom. Freedom from this double-edged sword started when we began to see that we are depending on others for something the world cannot provide.
Perhaps, moving the focus of our suffering from the behavior of others to the disease of the torment of our own heart is the first step which can bring reconciliation to troubled relationships. If we choose to operate in control, we are guaranteed failure and ultimately isolation from the relationships we value the most. When people demonstrate that they care about us, we feel valued, which usually causes us to feel like we have worth. Of course, we can’t be dependent on people for our sense of self-worth. This dynamic of worth is demonstrated when people obsessively seek the approval of desirable peers.
perhaps, The Truth is that the way someone behaves is because of the condition of their heart and the way their behavior makes you feel is based upon the condition of your heart. We have choices. First, we can attempt to control others into behaving the way you want them to so you can feel good about yourself and your life. The second choice is to address the condition of your heart so that you have a resilient foundation of worth and peace that sustains you when people let you down.
